How To Be Annoying

It's very easy to annoy people. Once you get used to all the antics that will cause someone to become annoyed, then it will become easier and easier. In no time you'll be a master at annoying the people you don't like.

Ask someone the same question over and over, but space them a few minutes apart. (I.E. "Are you going to work tomorrow?" . . . 3 minutes later repeat . . . repeat . . . repeat.) You want them to think you're forgetful, because that's really annoying.
Play with the kids and have fun doing it. Kids are loud when they are having fun. Have so much "fun" that the neighbors can hear it. The best fun is to wrestle. Jump off the couch and tables; just make sure you're at someone else's house in case you break something. Loud noice will irritate and annoy just about anyone.
Talk loudly. Talk to the person you're trying to annoy like they are deaf. Shout if you have to, but don't make it too obvious. When people hear you talking loudly, not only will you annoy the heck out of them, but they will leave you alone.
If there is a toddler around, talk baby-talk to her. Call her by some "cutesy" name like Tinky Winky, and keep calling her that in a high-pitched voice. Make sure to call her that a lot when the person you want to annoy is around; people can only take so much of it.
Complain a lot. If you're hungry, complain about it incessantly. If you're tired, complain about it incessantly. Lots and lots of complaining will only make someone annoyed with you.
Whine. People don't like whiners. Whine about everything. Whine if Oprah doesn't come on. Whine if your favorite show gets preempted. Whine if you get caught in traffic. Whine if someone asks a favor of you. Whatever you do just whine, Whine, WHINE.
Do a knock, knock joke. But, make sure it's a corny knock, knock joke. For example, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange Who?" "Orancha gonna shut up?" Say it over and over so it'll become annoying. Even Better: If you say it and you really want them to shut up.
Play loud music. Even Better: If you play music no one likes.
Sing loudly in a terrible voice. Everyone will be annoyed and wishing you to shut up.

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