WELCOME TO MEAN MUG'S HOW TO BE MEAN GUIDE!
If you are tired of all the mean people being mean to you and want to fight fire with fire, then you've come to the right place! This guide will help you to become the meanest, nastiest person you could dream of. You will be a total nightmare to your enemies. Follow these simple steps to becoming a very mean person.
- Roll your eyes when someone talks to you. That is disrespectful to them. You want to convey that you don't want to listen to them.
- Yawn constantly when someone is talking to you. That tells them they are boring you. Even Better: If you constantly yawn loudly.
- Get up and leave during a conversation. Again, that's disrespect that no one will like.
- Tell them they are boring you and be very nasty about it.
- Be preoccupied with other things while someone is talking to you.
- After someone has finished talking, say "what did you say?" Repeat as many times as necessary, they'll soon get the hint.
- If they complain about your being rude, then say "I know you are, but what am I?" It will make them angry and after awhile they won't have a comeback.
- Talk on your cell phone while someone is talking to you. In fact, take out your cell phone and start calling someone while the other person is talking to you. Answer your cell phone when it rings and talk loudly (if possible), tell the person on your cell phone that you're not talking to anyone importannt, but you can talk to them. That will really make someone mad at you.
- Tell someone to jump off a cliff. They will never talk to you again.
- Throw a "negative compliment" at someone. Say "I love your style, you have the street walker look going on," or "I like your outfit. You seem to have the 'I'm-a-bum' look going. Very nice." That will make them angry. NOTE: You'll also elicit a response, so just make sure you're prepared for the aftermath.
- Interrupt them every chance you get. Make it so they don't have a chaince to get involved in the conversation. Be a conversation hog.
- Insult them. Use words like stupid, idiot, moron, low-life, simpleton, etc. Even Better: If you can use them all in one sentence. Use phrases like "I bet your parents must be proud (sarcastically)," "You are the low-life of society," "I pitty the fool who procreated you," etc. NOTE: Just be prepared for any response these comments might bring you.
- Disrespect their parents, kids, or spouse. NOTE: Don't be surprised if you get punched for it.
- Insult whatever they take pride in. If they think they are good at fishing, tell them they're not. If they're proud of their education, tell them they should ask for their money back because they didn't learn anything. You get the picure.